Is That A Flashlight?

String of texts from my roommate who is currently working at Gap headquarters as a contractor doing some comp stuff:

Roommate: Holy shit...so much eye candy @ gap hq...my eyes are getting cavities!

Me: you're inviting me over for lunch right

Roommate: Yea...they're serving fresh [female anatomy] here @ their cafe...

Roommate: ... with a side of t&a

....

[after a few minutes realizing how he's not the most inconspicuous person when checking out girls]

Me: behave yourself. wear sunglasses if you have to

Roommate: I tried the sunglasses but its not covering up my boner

THE END.